Four years after his death I started a Face book page called, "Parents Against Co-Sleeping" to educate parents on the dangers of sharing a bed with you baby. I have been educating families on safe sleep for infants for the last eighteen months, and I have heard it all. I have been told how I NEED to educate on how to bed share safely. First of all, my son died to bed sharing and although I made a mistake that ended his life this is true I cannot dispute that but I made the same mistake many parents make on a nightly basis. The only difference is my son died while other babies live. I could not tell a parent there is a safe way to bed share because one I don't believe there is and two the more research I do the more I realize how many babies die from sharing a bed with their parent(s), and how many are unaware of these babies dying every year in their parent's bed!
Did you know that a whopping 80% of babies that die of SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome) are found in unsafe sleep environments {Pediatrics. 2003 Oct;112(4):883-9.Where should infants sleep? A comparison of risk for suffocation of infants sleeping in cribs, adult beds, and other sleeping locations. Scheers NJ, Rutherford GW, Kemp JS.} That means that only 20% of SIDS deaths is when every safe sleep practice is followed. Imagine how many babies wouldn't die if parents were educated on safe sleep and followed the guidelines to safe sleep. Now this is not to blame a parent if their baby dies from SIDS. I tell parents if you did not know how to create a safe sleep environment for your baby how could you have known? But we are finding that many babies are dying because they do not have a safe sleep environment. It could have been bed sharing, bumper pads, stuffed animals in sleeping area, blankets, soft or fluffy bedding, smoking, are external factors we can control and is why PAUSE (Parents Against Unsafe Sleep Environments) to educate parents on safe sleep that they may be unaware of and to reduce the infant mortality rate in this country as well as others.
Now I do know the so called benefits of bed sharing and I also know the so called "safe bed sharing guidelines" and they are as followed:
Safe Bed Sharing Guidelines:
DOS:
- Take precautions to prevent baby from rolling out of bed, even though it is unlikely when baby is sleeping next to mother. Like heat-seeking missiles, babies automatically gravitate toward a warm body. Yet, to be safe, place baby between mother and a guardrail or push the mattress flush against the wall and position baby between mother and the wall. Guardrails enclosed with plastic mesh are safer than those with slats, which can entrap baby's limbs or head. Be sure the guardrail is flush against the mattress so there is no crevice that baby could sink into.
- Place baby adjacent to mother, rather than between mother and father. Mothers we have interviewed on the subject of sharing sleep feel they are so physically and mentally aware of their baby's presence even while sleeping, that it's extremely unlikely they would roll over onto their baby. Some fathers, on the other hand, may not enjoy the same sensitivity of baby's presence while asleep; so it is possible they might roll over on or throw out an arm onto baby. After a few months of sleep-sharing, most dads seem to develop a keen awareness of their baby's presence.
- Place baby to sleep on his back.
- Use a large bed, preferably a queen-size or king-size. A king-size bed may wind up being your most useful piece of "baby furniture." If you only have a cozy double bed, use the money that you would ordinarily spend on a fancy crib and other less necessary baby furniture and treat yourselves to a safe and comfortable king-size bed.
- Some parents and babies sleep better if baby is still in touching and hearing distance, but not in the same bed. For them, a bedside co-sleeper is a safe option.
DON'TS:
- Do not sleep with your baby if: 1. You are under the influence of any drug (such as alcohol or tranquilizing medications) that diminishes your sensitivity to your baby's presence. If you are drunk or drugged, these chemicals lessen your arousability from sleep.
2. You are extremely obese. Obesity itself may cause sleep apnea in the mother, in addition to the smothering danger.
3. You are exhausted from sleep deprivation. This lessens your awareness of your baby and your arousability from sleep.
4. You are breastfeeding a baby on a cushiony surface, such as a waterbed or couch. An exhausted mother could fall asleep breastfeeding and roll over on the baby.
5. You are the child's baby-sitter. A baby-sitter's awareness and arousability is unlikely to be as acute as a mother's. - Don't allow older siblings to sleep with a baby under nine months. Sleeping children do not have the same awareness of tiny babies as do parents, and too small or too crowded a bed space is an unsafe sleeping arrangement for a tiny baby.
- Don't fall asleep with baby on a couch. Baby may get wedged between the back of the couch and the larger person's body, or baby's head may become buried in cushion crevices or soft cushions.
- Do not sleep with baby on a free-floating, wavy water bed or similar "sinky" surface in which baby could suffocate.
- Don't overheat or over bundle baby. Be particularly aware of overbundling if baby is sleeping with a parent. Other warm bodies are an added heat source.
- Don't wear lingerie with string ties longer than eight inches. Ditto for dangling jewelry. Baby may get caught in these entrapment's.
- Avoid pungent hair sprays, deodorants, and perfumes. Not only will these camouflage the natural maternal smells that baby is used to and attracted to, but foreign odors may irritate and clog baby's tiny nasal passages. Reserve these enticements for sleeping alone with your spouse.