Co-Sleeping Unsafely...It Happens More Than You Think....

My son Jaleel died over 5 years ago at 26 days old when a pillow suffocated him in his sleep while I slept right next to him and did not know he was in danger. My son was fussing when I came into bed that June 12, 2006 and I made a huge mistake that cost him his life I placed him on a pillow and he fell right back to sleep and I rolled over and went to bed. I woke up the next morning to a pillow on top of his little eight pound body and the life inside of him was gone! We would not get a second chance he was dead and nothing any one could do would bring him back. My son died from accidental asphyxiation from bed sharing.

Four years after his death I started a Face book page called, "Parents Against Co-Sleeping" to educate parents on the dangers of sharing a bed with you baby. I have been educating families on safe sleep for infants for the last eighteen months, and I have heard it all. I have been told how I NEED to educate on how to bed share safely. First of all, my son died to bed sharing and although I made a mistake that ended his life this is true I cannot dispute that but I made the same mistake many parents make on a nightly basis. The only difference is my son died while other babies live. I could not tell a parent there is a safe way to bed share because one I don't believe there is and two the more research I do the more I realize how many babies die from sharing a bed with their parent(s), and how many are unaware of these babies dying every year in their parent's bed!

Did you know that a whopping 80% of babies that die of SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome) are found in unsafe sleep environments {Pediatrics. 2003 Oct;112(4):883-9.Where should infants sleep? A comparison of risk for suffocation of infants sleeping in cribs, adult beds, and other sleeping locations. Scheers NJ, Rutherford GW, Kemp JS.} That means that only 20% of SIDS deaths is when every safe sleep practice is followed. Imagine how many babies wouldn't die if parents were educated on safe sleep and followed the guidelines to safe sleep. Now this is not to blame a parent if their baby dies from SIDS. I tell parents if you did not know how to create a safe sleep environment for your baby how could you have known? But we are finding that many babies are dying because they do not have a safe sleep environment. It could have been bed sharing, bumper pads, stuffed animals in sleeping area, blankets, soft or fluffy bedding, smoking, are external factors we can control and is why PAUSE (Parents Against Unsafe Sleep Environments) to educate parents on safe sleep that they may be unaware of and to reduce the infant mortality rate in this country as well as others.

Now I do know the so called benefits of bed sharing and I also know the so called "safe bed sharing guidelines" and they are as followed:

Safe Bed Sharing Guidelines:

DOS:

• Take precautions to prevent baby from rolling out of bed, even though it is unlikely when baby is sleeping next to mother. Like heat-seeking missiles, babies automatically gravitate toward a warm body. Yet, to be safe, place baby between mother and a guardrail or push the mattress flush against the wall and position baby between mother and the wall. Guardrails enclosed with plastic mesh are safer than those with slats, which can entrap baby's limbs or head. Be sure the guardrail is flush against the mattress so there is no crevice that baby could sink into.
• Place baby adjacent to mother, rather than between mother and father. Mothers we have interviewed on the subject of sharing sleep feel they are so physically and mentally aware of their baby's presence even while sleeping, that it's extremely unlikely they would roll over onto their baby. Some fathers, on the other hand, may not enjoy the same sensitivity of baby's presence while asleep; so it is possible they might roll over on or throw out an arm onto baby. After a few months of sleep-sharing, most dads seem to develop a keen awareness of their baby's presence.
• Place baby to sleep on his back.
• Use a large bed, preferably a queen-size or king-size. A king-size bed may wind up being your most useful piece of "baby furniture." If you only have a cozy double bed, use the money that you would ordinarily spend on a fancy crib and other less necessary baby furniture and treat yourselves to a safe and comfortable king-size bed.
• Some parents and babies sleep better if baby is still in touching and hearing distance, but not in the same bed. For them, a bedside co-sleeper is a safe option.

DON'TS:

• Do not sleep with your baby if: 1. You are under the influence of any drug (such as alcohol or tranquilizing medications) that diminishes your sensitivity to your baby's presence. If you are drunk or drugged, these chemicals lessen your arousability from sleep.
  2. You are extremely obese. Obesity itself may cause sleep apnea in the mother, in addition to the smothering danger.
  3. You are exhausted from sleep deprivation. This lessens your awareness of your baby and your arousability from sleep.
  4. You are breastfeeding a baby on a cushiony surface, such as a waterbed or couch. An exhausted mother could fall asleep breastfeeding and roll over on the baby.
  5. You are the child's baby-sitter. A baby-sitter's awareness and arousability is unlikely to be as acute as a mother's.
• Don't allow older siblings to sleep with a baby under nine months. Sleeping children do not have the same awareness of tiny babies as do parents, and too small or too crowded a bed space is an unsafe sleeping arrangement for a tiny baby.
• Don't fall asleep with baby on a couch. Baby may get wedged between the back of the couch and the larger person's body, or baby's head may become buried in cushion crevices or soft cushions.
• Do not sleep with baby on a free-floating, wavy water bed or similar "sinky" surface in which baby could suffocate.


• Don't overheat or over bundle baby. Be particularly aware of overbundling if baby is sleeping with a parent. Other warm bodies are an added heat source.


• Don't wear lingerie with string ties longer than eight inches. Ditto for dangling jewelry. Baby may get caught in these entrapment's.


• Avoid pungent hair sprays, deodorants, and perfumes. Not only will these camouflage the natural maternal smells that baby is used to and attracted to, but foreign odors may irritate and clog baby's tiny nasal passages. Reserve these enticements for sleeping alone with your spouse.

Click here for the complete article Now let's examine some bed sharing photos courtesy of Google and tell you why these pictures are dangerous to infants.

This picture breaks two of the safe bed sharing rules. 1. NEVER bed share with an infant on a couch or other soft sleep surfaces, and 2. Father's should not bed share with babies as they are not as in tune as mother's are to their babies. Babies who bed share on a couch are at a greater risk of accidental suffocation than infants who sleep in an adult bed.

Now for this picture the baby should NOT be laying on a pillow, should not be using a blanket and so close to their face, and animals should not be in the same bed as infants.

There are a number of unsafe bed sharing rules being broken in this picture as well. 1. The baby should not be in between the parents, 2. There should be no blankets covering the baby and not a couple layers like this picture shows as it can present a risk for SIDS by over heating the baby. This picture could also cause a layover from either parent, the baby should be next to the mother, also I notice above the baby's head are more blankets that if the baby scooted up or rolled over could also pose a suffocation risk.

This baby is laying on a soft surface with blankets underneath him which is dangerous and regardless of where a baby sleeps they should ALWAYS be placed on their back as it reduces the risk of SIDS.

Again the baby is on a pillow and isn't in the mother's arm like safe bed sharing advocates say and also blankets that could easily come over the baby's face and cause suffocation.

Siblings should not bed share with an infant and should NOT be right next to an infant. Toddlers often sleep erratically and their movements are unpredictable.

This picture is scary!!! The baby is below too very soft pillows and is underneath a soft sleep surface and looks like he or she is sleeping alone and could be close to the edge of the bed.

                            How many times can it be said that Dads and babies should not co-sleep.

You should  not co-sleep with a baby sleeping on your chest one because they are on their tummy and two because if the mother rolled over should could roll over right on top of her baby.

This is another BIG NO-NO on so many levels. One the baby and dad are sleeping in a recliner. Which is very unsafe. The baby could become wedged and suffocate. Also this dad is over weight and parents over-weight should NEVER BED SHARE!!!!! The problem I have noticed the people that claim bed share can be done safely are usually the ones who are practicing unsafe bed sharing increasing the chances their child will be one of the many bed sharing deaths statistic. Did you know??? Last year in Texas, Child Protective Services investigated 177 infant deaths where bed-sharing (also known as co-sleeping) was a factor. That formula feeding nor does breastfeeding have any affect of a child that dies to bed sharing. That all SIDS organizations warn against bed sharing That most of the time a medical examiner can not tell the difference between a suffocation death and a SIDS death in infants as both usually do not leave signs like suffocation would in an adult. Between 2001 and 2008, 183 infants died in Milwaukee due to sudden infant death syndrome or unsafe sleep practices, according to the Milwaukee Health Department. Sixty-eight percent of these babies were bed-sharing when they died. That a baby is more likely to die from bed sharing than if sleeping in their crib. Babies have a 40% greater chance of dying in an adult bed. Adult beds are soft not firm like a baby NEEDS. Did you know most bed sharing deaths are NOT caused by drugs or alcohol but only the ones the media shows. Before you place your baby in bed look at the facts, not facts by people who do not see bed sharing deaths like Dr. James McKenna or Dr. Bob Sears but people like SIDS experts, coroners, medical death investigators, or Medical examiners who find these dead babies and do the studies on them. We are not trying to make the crib industry richer we are just trying to help you give your baby the best chance possible. A- Alone B-Back to sleep C-Crib Also we suggest room sharing. We don't want babies down the hall in a room by themselves, studies have shown that babies who sleep in the same room next to their parents bed have a reduced risk of SIDS and the mother can still be there to take care of her baby's needs but without compromising safe sleep.